SheLLeY_MAriE on Xanga

SheLLeY_MAriE

Name: Shelley
Country: United States
State: Maryland
Metro: Baltimore
Birthday: 10/31/1985
Gender: Female

Interests: Hangin wit mi Firends* Movies*Shoppin*Listen to Music*Watchin Tv*Talkin on the phone/online*Subsitutin k-5th grade*Workin @ Rita'z*College*Boyz
Expertise: BeiN Me! :)
Occupation: Student
Industry: Education/Research

Message: message me
AIM:

Cutenessbunny03
AIM:

C4nDiiPrinc3ss
Yahoo:

Shelzie103185

Member Since: 2/14/2005

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Posting Calendar

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Monday, February 20, 2006

y does everything have to be goin good today.. mi classes where alright today.. and i got to miss lab cuz of the electic goin outlike through half the campus! i got to talk to KEVIN hes commin back from Texas in like 2 weeks and hes excited and so m i.. cuz maybe we can hang out or sumthing.. i talked to tommy a lil even tho he didnt say anything but hold on.. witch i guess god made him say cuz of mi next isue u know where the day went to crap! Ashleigh calls me @ like 3:00 tellin me how shes been in the hospital all day sence 8:00 cuz Desi called her after takin a whole bottle of advil.. yes thats right she tryed to comminte sucided im jus so glad that she called Ashleigh cryin and had her come and take her to the hospital..or else id be ssoo freakin worse right now..

its hard to talk about i mean what do i even say to her when i go to the hospital.. do i look at her differntly.. or what.. i mean i know ima give her a hug but after that ? i have no freakin idea..its pretty scary to think about how u where jus hangin out wit ur firend on Saturday and gave her x-mas present that she loved and made her happy.. and then goin to starbucks and getin frappachinos..and callin a kid she works wit and jokin round wit him on the phone in the parkin lot of tocobell..and drivin down through the old hood...like we normally do..

the part that gets me the most is y she never told me she was havin problems.. y she never once looked sad.. or anything how she acted like she normally does how we where jammin to Eminem..

i guess i should of realzied it when she said the song STAN gives her chills but no i didnt worry about it i thoguht it was like u know when ur mom sayz a sad song gets to her and gives her chills ya know.. not anything like that..and maybe i should of been concerned when her bf Kevin texted her wit stop actin werid.. but i didnt think she was actin werid..or anything..or maybe when she told me she started doin *e* again on wednesday i didnt really care i mean i did but i couldnt jus tell her not 2.. or maybe when she kept pressin on the fact i should spend the night but i didnt really want to cuz i had work in the am and she did 2.. and cuz she kept tryin to get me to do *e* if she fount sum and i didnt really want 2 so i was makin up excuses

i dont even know how to explain how im feelin right now allz i know is i need a tissue and im freazzin mi butt off typein this and it aint even cold in mi house!

i really dont undersatnd and i really wish i did!!

4:04 PM - 7 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Monday, December 19, 2005

ok.. so yeah 2 days ago i was sayin how me and TOmmy r doin good.. but now thats changed funny how fast shit happens...Saturday night we talked for a lil bit and b4 h got off the phone he told me he loved me.. then last night b4 i went to bed i text him I love you! and a lil while later he calls me ^ sayin he has sum bad news.. and im like ok ...what is it and he was like u know that girl i told u i was ganna hang out wit today and i was like yeah and i swear i thought he was ganna say well we fucked but no it was she told me she wants to us to start talkin.. and i thought jus talkin.. and asked him and he goes no and i asked like goin out? and he was like yeah.. well at frist i was startin to fake cry cuz i wanted to c what he say and he started by tellin me she said she would help him stop smokin and keep him away from jail and he said needs that and i know he does! but y couldnt i do that like i want 2! he said he needs sum 1 around all the time and i told him he could call me ever day like b4 if he wanted to and then he told me yeah but i was still doin bad stuff and then he told me how he put a gun to sum1s head...and itold him he could of told me and i would yelled at him or sumthing...but neways then he was goin on about how he dont like mi dad and how mi dad dont like him and how that would b hard for if we got married and had kids...and i was tellin him we could work that out later and then he kept sayin hes gettin to old for this and im like and im not i mean im 20 and i havent even had 1 real good bf! and i wanna get married and have kids 2 and now i dont even know if that will ever happen cuz guys dont usely like me like that..i guess im not pretty enough or sumthing.. ok so newayz i was cryin the whole time i was on the phone wit him.. when i got off the phone i cryed mi self to sleep and was havin really cute dreams about him and when i would wake ^ reality would hit me hard! and id cry more.. and to calm mi self down i started to scrap mi arm wit sissors..and it really worked and now im scared ima start bein a cutter or sumthing! and i never thought i would ever do that i use to think ppl that did that shouldnt but now i know y the do they jus have so many emotions goin on inside they dont know how to stop it.. like i was madd at God 4 answerin mi pray about Tommy the wrong way i wanted to be the 1 to help him change not sum1 else ..and i was madd at Tommy for tellin that girl they could try things out..and i was feelin ugly and unloved and sad and + i have mi *dot* and that makes everthing 10 times wrose!! but b4 i cryed mi self to sleep i sent him a longg text message with what i need to say but couldnt cuz i was cryin and he cant understand what i say when i cry cuz i get pretty worked ^ about it...but i was really startin to think things where ganna work out between us and x-mas is commin and i jus want sum 1 speical in mi life for once.. expscial cuz im gettin OLD! and every 1 around me has kids and stuff and a New YeaR is commin ^but if u think about it they start after ur b-day not after the month of December! i jus im tired of beenin the only 1 with out sum 1 speical these dayz! neways i really hope he read mi whole 4page text message and he calls me and at least tells me he did! but then again i dont know what to say when or if he does call me today cuz ill probly most likely start cryin again cuz i m right now.. i jus feel like i should sleep all day! but no i have to work at 10:00 -5:00 and put on a fake smile like i always do when im depressed around ppl~* ahh ok whatever im done

8:45 AM - 5 views - 6 eprops - 4 comments - email it

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

alot hasnt been goin on in mi life jus ive been super busy wit School and workin to jobs now.. and i have a 3rd 1 now as well! im workin at mi lovely Rita's wtich the season is fastly ending Oct. 8th! im gald in a way cuz ill have more time 2 hang out and do hw and stuff... but im also sad cuz ima miss all mi Rita's buddies expectlly Kevin! cuz i have this kinda big crush on him when i shouldnt but oh well.. hes jus super kool and i can really talk to him about nething he aint like mi internet guyz that live so far away and i can tell nething 2 ya know?? and i also dont know if im goin back to Rita's next year i do want to cuz i love workin there and the ppl i work 4 arnt bad ither but then i want sumthing new! ok so im also workin at JCPenny's that job its alright but im leavin it real soon cuz i got the Job at Bath and Body Works and the ppl actully talk to me and dont jus say "oh ur new" or "Are u new" and let it end like that.. and the managers r super sweet/nice ppl unlike the ones at JCP who alwayz direct me in a not so nice way.. well i guess ill finish this entry after Class! cuz i got EduCatIoN PsyChoLoGY hope i got at least a B on the test that was like super big w/ tonz of info covered!*Crosses Fingers* ok well to start mi mood has changed i dont know y.. i guess im gettin mi dot soon cuz ive been moody.. newayz we didnt get r test back i hope we get um back friday! so tonight is youth but i dont know if i wanna go i mean i do but then theres 1 tree hill commin on at 8! and i really wanna watch it so i might jus tell Danielle that i cant go cuz of sumthing who knowz.. or i might go cuz its fun and i love God! cuz he makes me blessed and favable.. anywayz the whole reason y i was fellin low is cuz of Tommy one min. he sayz he loves me and then the next hes doin sum girl and tellin me about it the next day like hello is that pouse to make me feel good? cuz i didnt i felt real low the past couple of dayz and it jus hurts ya know to have a guy say he loves you and u believe it and then they do sumthing like that when they knew how u felt about it and another thing that gets me he sayz its mi fult? again hello i didnt jump in bed wit sum guy after tellin him i loved him did i no.. allz i did was break ^ wit him once and its not like im not tryin to get us straight again but i guess he dont want to b i mean frist there was Allie and now theres not.. so we dont have her in the way but now its him and other girls and me and no 1! i dont get it! GRr.. GuyZ tOtALLy PlAy Wit mi EmOtiOnz and i dont even know how to stop them from it cuz who knows what they really mean and what they dont! i mean what if a guy tells u he loves u and u dont believe him and he really turely does! then hell like leave ya alone cuz he wont think u love him back? i guess the whole thing confusses me and all ther other girls at like work that i talk to they say the same thing that it was wrong 4 him to do and all and he dont get the problem wit it and thinks ima pouse to forgive him i mean i can but i cant forget how it hurt and hes alwayz like the past 2 dayz whats ur f*in problem! and at frist i thoguht i couldnt put miself in the other persons shoes but now who knowz? maybe it is jus him maybe i should jus forget all about him and try gettin wit sum other guy like Kevin even tho he has a gf in Maine or whereever but then thats not good ither! GRr. y cant i find a guy that i like who likes me 2??! maybe i need a change of sceen and move in wit Chad in FL lol i wish! cuz i still believe that hes like the 1 and the only guy that cares or at least he acts like he does alot! give me sum advice plz? or sumthing!? leave comments on this 1 i need um! .

3:25 PM - 6 views - 6 eprops - 3 comments - email it

Monday, August 29, 2005

Summer PLanz

Review

LeArn HOw To DriVe ( yes.. im doin that still now.. i passed driving school and have been drivin wit mi mom)

WoRk At RitAz (yes.. im still doin that and i love it so much fun)

GeT iN To HoOd( didn;t happen but maybe soon.. I HOPE! ima work mi butt off at school this semster)

HanG OuT Wit Mi FirENdz(yes.. crouse i did that...even tho were havin a lil DRAMA right now)

PaRTy!!(yEs.. i Deff. did that but ima be doin less durnin the this semester)

Be COmE a LiL More OuT GoIn cuz i dont wanna be da *ShY* 1 no MoRe..( well while doin *e* and Drinkin yes i have been.. but im goin to try hard to b outgoin wit out that mess)

GeT a bEtTEr JoB tHAt PaYz MoRe ( haven't done that but ive tried and i still m lookin)

GeT A BOY FirEnD!( well this hasn't happend..so who knowz.. i do like Kevin tho and Aaron again well a lil anyway)

so yea i desided sence i havent been typin in here offten to finally change the look.. hope u like.. i think its prettyful! im also goin to change the song.. it needs a new 1!

ive also started mi classes today! so far it isnt that bad..i got mi next class in like a hour so yea...

9:30 AM - 3 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

Monday, August 08, 2005

wow i havent updated in a long time sorry mi computer is still messed ^ hope to be gettin a new 1 soon.. well heres what i typed in mi Kiwibox.. its jus ez to copy it ya know.. but 1 thing id like to add is that im drivin well learning how and its fun! but herez the rest...ok well lets c i havent wrote an entry sence the 5th of july.. but works been good...and stuff with mi firends has been good Ashleigh is i beleve still on Vaction and Danielle's bday was yestruday and so was Tommy's things with him are still ?able but were basicly firends cuz hes in love wit Allie and thats good 4 him... but it made me jelious jus a lil because i still have no 1 but Chad and i havent really talked to him that much this summer i miss him i do alwayz tell him i Love him tho when i get online on mi cell.. oh yea and poor Danielle had to get surgry on her nose so she didnt really want to hang out yesturday cuz she was in pain.. i havent gotten high in 3 weeks! yay me im proud of that! this is so hard cuz so much has happen sence last time i wrote.. well saturday i was in FareFiled PA cuz of mi godmothers crab feast that was fun didnt really hang out wit ne 1 tho cuz of me beenin 19 im like right in the middle wit the 20 yr olds and the teens but yea i still had fun and Mikala is soo cute she kept takin every 1s blue berries from the fruit salad me and mi mom made and shes soo smart to shes 22 months and already knows her letters! i never regsiter for classes im doin that today thats y im at the college right now... after this and makin and entry in xanga ima b goin to the resigration office.. i jus hope mi classes r still avaible! ima b workin mi BuTT off this semester 2 cuz i have to maintain a 2.75 so i can transfer! in to Hood where Sarah is goin ...every1 at work is goin to be leaving soon..to go to college well i guess i should leave cuz of sum emrgancy thing so im outtie 4 a lil... ok im back while the emgrancy thing went on i registered 4 classes and eww! wtf the money is due today and i so dont have the kind of money right now so im fillin out so FASFA paper so i can get antoher Loan i swear ima be sooo poor.. it makes me not want to do this any more... but i have to to b able to follow mi DreaMz.. newayz lately ive been likin Kevin the boy i work wit.. hes real nice to me any wayz but can be mean sum times aww he told me what ppl at work say about me the other night we talked to like 2 am lol.. but yeah he said they say im sooo cute and funny.. and innosent and do everything thing right...but yea we talked mostly bout ppl we worked wit but i love talkin to him.. anywayz yestruday morning he imed my cell and asked me how i spelt it was so cute it made me :) well i should get this form done so i can turn it in.. and leave to go back home!.. so untill next time.. i love yaz! xoxo SheL

10:06 AM - 2 views - add eprops - add comments - email it

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